№ 01 · The Family Phone Audit
A written answer about your child, not about children.
You answer twenty questions about the child in front of you. You get back a written audit: whether the answer is yes, the two or three specific things that would change it if it isn’t, the words to say at the kitchen table, and the rules to write down if it is.
Five pages, their name on every one of them, on screen and downloadable a few minutes after you finish the questions.
Answer the questions first, pay at the end · 30-day refund, no questions
№ 02 · The problem
A score is not a decision.
The free checklist ends with a number out of 24 and a band to read it against. What it cannot do is tell you what to do with a 15 — and 15 is where most parents land, because most children are somewhere in the middle. Close, not yet is an accurate answer and a useless one.
It cannot do better than that, because it does not know anything about you. It doesn’t know that your daughter is the only one in her class without a phone, that the tablet went under the pillow last month, that you already said “when you’re older” and have been asked every week since, or that the other parent disagrees with you. A generic 15 and your 15 are different situations with different right answers.
The audit is the same test with your answers in it — and a plan written against them.
Still on the fence?
Run the free checklist first. It costs nothing, it takes ten minutes, and if it comes back a clear yes or a clear no you may not need anything else. Buy the audit when the number lands in the middle and you don’t know what to do with it.
№ 03 · How it works
Twenty questions in, five pages out.
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1
The twelve signals, scored
The same twelve as the free checklist, so if you have run that you already know them. Yes, sometimes, or not yet, on each.
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2
The four hard stops
Any one of them true and the answer is not yet regardless of the score. The audit says so plainly and says what clears it.
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3
Your actual situation
Their age, the device you’re considering, how much of their grade has one, what they already have and how that has gone, whether you and the other parent are aligned, and three boxes in your own words: your biggest worry, what you have already said, and anything that has already happened.
Those last three boxes do most of the work. The difference between a generic report and a useful one is almost always something the parent typed in their own words.
№ 04 · What you receive
The verdict, the words, and the plan.
Below are three real pages from a sample audit. The family in it is invented — but the structure, the length and the voice are exactly what you get.
If the answer is not yet
You get two or three conditions instead of a refusal — specific enough that you will know within a month whether they have been met, and a review date to put on the calendar. “Not yet, and here is exactly what changes it” is the strongest position you can hold, and it is the one most parents cannot construct on their own at 9pm.
№ 05 · Who writes it
I wrote the framework. The system writes your copy of it.
I should be straight with you about this, because it is the first thing I would want to know.
The twelve signals, the four hard stops, the scoring, the rules, the scripts and the voice are mine — the same framework as the checklist and The System, built out of getting this badly wrong with my oldest and doing it properly with my second. What you buy here is that framework applied to your answers, assembled and written by the software I built to do it. It happens in minutes, and no human being reads your report before you do.
That is exactly why it costs $39 and arrives while you are still sitting there, rather than $400 and next week. If you would rather a person read your situation and write back, this is not that product and I would rather you knew now.
Your answers are used to write your report and for nothing else. They are not sold, not used for advertising, and deleted after 40 days. I am a parent, not a psychologist — the audit says so on the last page.
№ 06 · Who it’s for
Buy it, or keep your $39.
Get the audit if
- You have run the free checklist and the number came back in the middle.
- You are close to deciding and you want the decision written down before you have the conversation.
- You know you are going to say no and you need it to land as a plan rather than a refusal.
- You and the other parent keep going round in circles and want something neutral on the table.
Keep your $39 if
- You have already decided. If you know the answer is yes and you just want it set up properly, skip the audit — that is The System, and it is $29.
- The phone is already in the house and going badly. The audit is about a decision you have not made yet, so it is the wrong tool for a mess that has already started. Go to Complete instead.
- You want backing for a decision you have made. The report follows your answers wherever they lead. If they say not yet, it will say not yet — which is the point of paying for it, and no comfort at all if you wanted the other answer.
- Your child is under about eight. There is not enough there to test yet. Run the free checklist in a year.
№ 07 · The price
Why $39, and what it counts towards.
$39 is what an instant, personalised report can honestly cost. The framework took two years of getting it wrong to build; applying it to your twenty answers takes minutes and no human hours, and the price reflects that rather than pretending otherwise.
It sits above The System at $29 for one reason: The System is the same excellent document for every family, and this one is written about your child. If you already know the answer is yes, the cheaper product is the right product and I would rather you bought that.
Both credit towards Complete
Complete is $99 — the setup, the agreement, the seven conversations, the crisis playbook and the sibling and teen paths. Whatever you have already spent on the audit or The System comes off that price. Buy the audit today and Complete is $60 later; buy The System and it is $70. Email me with your receipt and I will send it across — it is a person doing it, not a coupon field, so give me a day.
$39 one payment
- The twelve-signal score, with your answers in it
- The verdict, and what is driving it
- Conditions and a review date, if the answer is not yet
- A script written for this conversation
- Your rules, and the first month day by day
- What to watch for in your child specifically
Ten minutes of questions, then payment. 30-day refund, no questions and no form — email me and it is done.
The strongest proof here is a parent quoting the line from their own audit that changed the conversation. Ask the first twenty buyers for exactly that, with permission and their child’s name changed.
№ 08 · Questions, answered plainly
FAQ
How long does it actually take?
The questions take about ten minutes. The report is written while you wait on the page — usually a minute or two, occasionally longer. Save the PDF when it appears, and keep that page’s address if you want to come back: the same link re-downloads it for 30 days.
What if it tells me something I don’t want to hear?
It might. The report follows your answers, and if you have ticked one of the four hard stops it will say not yet even when the score is high. That is the point of paying for a diagnosis rather than a second opinion. If it turns out to be useless to you, the refund is a one-line email.
Is this just the free checklist with my name on it?
No. The checklist is twelve signals and a scoring band — a test you run on yourself. The audit reads your specific answers against each other, and the things it says are usually not derivable from the score at all: which two signals to work on first, whether the ask is really about the group chat, and what to say given what you have already said.
I have two children. Do I need two?
Yes, and I would space them out. The audit is about one child, and your second will genuinely need a different answer from your first — they will ask earlier and they will have a point. Buy the second when you get there; the sibling question is also covered in Complete.
Can I share it with the other parent?
Please do — a lot of people buy it for exactly that. It is a PDF with no restrictions on it. It is written to be read by both of you, which is part of why the reasoning is on the page rather than just the verdict.
What happens to my answers?
They are used to write your report and nothing else, and they are deleted after 40 days. Not sold, not used for advertising, not used to train anything. Payment is handled by Stripe — I never see your card.
You get one clean shot at this conversation.
Ten minutes of questions now, and you walk into it with the answer, the reasons, and the words already written down.
Start the questions — $39Answer first, pay at the end. 30-day refund.